the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
