She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
