You can't special order awesome
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
there was a trapeze. enough said
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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