Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
it's great music for shaving your balls
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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