Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
