is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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