So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
