Ambien. No doubt about it.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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