He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
