hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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