there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Just high enough for therapy.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
