If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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