If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
