Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Boobs speak an international language.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
