i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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