you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
why do cheetos always look like penises
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Randomize
