i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
smell my finger.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
