When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize