It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Randomize
