Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
well you can't waste a boner
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
