Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Randomize
