I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
