I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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