At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
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