my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
