I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize