So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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