Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
