I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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