she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Your dad touched me again.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
