Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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