Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
