Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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