I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
