how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
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