I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
