My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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