What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
