So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
