Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
