I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Randomize