'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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