fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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