Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
