Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
