STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Randomize
