Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Your cock deserves a montage
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
