she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
