You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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