dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
