I will die if light touches me.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
