the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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