Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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