Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
