Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
