OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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