are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
