but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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