Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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