you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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