I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
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