Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
