Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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