I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
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