She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Randomize
