According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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