oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
When are your genitals available?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
